May 18, 2008

A Lot Has Happened. But Not Enough.

Things have occurred since last I wrote.

I have a bedframe now.

Neeta and I threw and Astronomy Day-themed 'hood-warming party, complete with star-shaped sandwiches, star-shaped-chocolate-topped cupcakes, a solar system mobile, etc. Our evite title? "Chart your course for AWESOME." Yes, we are dorks. And probably I watch too much HIMYM.

I discovered Gladiolus are my favorite flowers on earth.

I got a FREE and new-to-me chair from Amber, delivered by the truly awesome Jojo's Delivery in Motion, who showed up in style in an El Camino, and followed up efficient and inexpensive delivery with a Yahoo! e-thank you card. He rocks, highly recommend.

I gathered some serious spoils at a Corey Lynn Calter sample sale.

My parents came to visit, and I discovered two new artists I love, and was reminded why I love two old favorites at LACMA.

There was limited movement on the romance front.

But you know what? That is seriously ALL I have to report for the last three weeks. That is it! That is the total sum of my accomplishments since my last entry. You know why? BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WORKING WAY TOO FREAKING MUCH.

I should have lots more to report! I should have climbed ev'ry mountain, forded every stream, followed every rainbow, until I found my dream.

I AM DONE. I can take no more. I'm not sure what measures I'll be taking, that's still in development, my ideas incubating, marinating, as it were. We'll see.

But SOMETHING has to happen. Because not much does outside the confines my office.

Which is just not enough.

Posted by jen at 09:30 PM | Comments (4)

January 27, 2008

The Final Frontier

Dude, it has been SEVEN WEEKS since I had a full weekend off. Now I understand why sometimes we don't hear from Miss Doxie for months. Being a lawyer certainly can suck.

I can't believe I worried a few short months ago about being able to fill all the space left by The Boy's abrupt departure from my life -- ha, suckah!

Now, I worry about how I'm going to fit in everything in.

In the end, maybe that's a good thing, certainly better than the alternative, watching the hours stretch out in front of you like a prison sentence, right?

In any case, being stuck in my apartment for two of the weekends "on call," I did manage to make some improvements to my living space:

Painted another nook (why can I not commit to an entire wall, only nooks?):

Painted my kitchen (an enlarged, nook, really):

Painted a paint-by-numbers frame that I fell in love with at $70 in another store and denied myself because that's too damn much to pay for a picture frame and then later found on sale at $28, suh-weet!:

And then finally, this weekend, I had the full-ish weekend off, and Neeta and Kevin and I explored my neighborhood space, including the Good Microbrew & Grill.

It was so much fun just wandering around trying cumin cheese at The Cheese Store of Silver Lake and checking out the hipsters at Intelligentsia.

I felt ridiculously like some kind of proud mother, showing off my neighborhood to them, isn't it the cutest, isn't that the awesomest, probably it will be president one day and I've already started a 529 savings plan for it and don't you think it has my eyes?

I'm not quite sure where my ridiculous love of my neighborhood comes from, but Neeta and Kevin didn't seem to mind my motherly adoration, so no harm done.

I also finally caught up on Project Runway this weekend, and, um, am I crazy or was Heidi wearing sparkles on her lids this last episode? I had sworn off sparkly eyeliner, my favorite, because I thought it was passe. Can I resurrect? Please tell me yes!

There's always space in my life for sparkles.

Posted by jen at 10:22 PM | Comments (8)

January 07, 2008

Ramblin' On, In Lieu of a Decent Post

Oh, hello, is it Monday?

1. I am in a daze, people. It is a sad, sad state of affairs when you get the Blackberry message on Sunday morning at 11:30, when you've already been up for two hours SO ANXIOUS, to hear that you don't have to come in to work that day and you WEEP FROM GRATITUDE.

I am too old for this crap.*

Also, when you have spent many, many hours at work and your poor family and friends call you to check on whether you've gone insane or not, you have a tendency, to um, ramble on. Because you've had no one to talk to all week except for your coworkers, who do not want to hear about your bed frame issues, they want to know, HAVE YOU FINISHED THOSE UNANIMOUS RESOLUTIONS OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS IN LIEU OF A MEETING OR NOT?

OK, no one in my office yells (yet), but anxiety is high, dude. Would you like to check my blood pressure?

2. Before I blogged, I used to, um, have pretend conversations with someone in my head, you know, to work out how I felt about things. Try things on for size, pretending I was telling a story to a friend. You can refine your thoughts in the telling. I realized tonight, walking the 25-minute walk to the Trader Joe's (exercise + chores, I am the Master of Multitasking. But only because I have to be.): now, IN LIEU, oh good grief, IN LIEU of a pretend conversation with someone, I write a pretend blog entry. Which I never post (see #1). Has this happened to any of you?

3. My Trader Joe's is like, the mecca of hip. Oh Silver Lake, how do I love thee, let me count the cute, bearded boys toting reusable grocery bags. And you know, I am not. Hip. But luckily! It is also the mecca of WEIRD. In Hollywood, I felt out of place because my boobs didn't reach my chin. Here, I can wear my glasses -- which, HOLY COW I NEED NOW (I really thought I was immune to the curse of my family's poor eyesight but apparently I just wasn't doing enough due diligence) -- to the store and I fit in. And I can trot out my 1979 Steve Martin Cruel Shoes baseball tee my lovely brother handed down to me and I am golden. Or wear my mother's 1980 wool sweaters and skirts she bought in London when I was three.* I can be weird here.

4. I have yet to paint but the one nook (see #1), but I finally finished papering my built-ins (see above). I guess, looking at it from an outsider's perspective, which is what you do when you posted a picture on the interweb, it's not that exciting. But for me, each shelf represents a place, a period in my life (Paris, South and Central America, China (in dreams), Redding), and that shelf fourth down on the right full of empty vases? Gettin' shoved aside in 2008. Ramblin' on.

*Yeah, I turned 31 last Thursday. And worked 'til 11. SWEET. Also, I realized I've asterisked TWO ITEMS to remind you it was my birthday. Apparently I need some birthday wishes. I am 12. Well, 31, going on 12.

Posted by jen at 10:48 PM | Comments (29)

November 18, 2007

You've Been LAWYERED.

Thank goodness my ISP restored my internet on Friday morning, considering the bar results came out on Friday evening and I really didn't want to be learning THE FATE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE in Kinko's, scaring/scarring the struggling actors that spend their evenings there retouching their 1989 headshots using Microsoft Paint with my a) sobbing, or b) mimicry of dancing bunnies.

Instead, safely at home I did both, only the crying was from relief and the dancing more closely resembled a Scottish jig. And it was the cats I scared/scarred.

In any case! I PASSED!! Whee!!!

Which is a good thing because my sister has been telling me I should use Marshall from How I Met Your Mother's phrase, "You've been lawyered" for months now and I had to grumpily reply, "But I'm NOT ONE YET."

But now? I plan on using it with abandon. OK, not really, most people hate lawyers, but whee! I don't have to retake, which, as Christine says, is well, one less thing.

One of the other things I plan on doing is living like an adult again. I've lived in this little 1-bedroom apartment with hideous carpet since I broke up with my boyfriend in 2003. Moving here was depressing -- I'd left a two-bedroom condo with a fireplace and hardwood floors. I had told myself it was temporary, but then along came law school and holy crap, it's 2007 and the litter box is still in my pantry. AWESOME.

I've had enough. I'm moving.

Also, I'm making holiday cards, yay! Sending them out every year is on my (in serious need of updating) list of 100 Things I Want To Do Before I Die, and have I done it ONCE since I made that damn list? No.

So here I go:

Ignore the weird "u" in "you." I'm sure something will be off on all my cards, but for now I'm pretending it's OK because it's just a prototype.

The inside will read: "...warmth and whimsy for your home and hearth this holiday season."

I totally thought glitter was dead, but then the new issue of Blueprint had these wonderful glittered candles and I thought, why not?

Also, continuing my love affair with winter root vegetables, I made Honey-Roasted Parsnips (liked 'em even better than the squash) this evening from Martha's Everyday Food. Recipe below.

And p.s. My holiday card picture is from long enough ago that it's in the public domain and I'm not committing a copyright violation in using it. There. You've been LAWYERED. Ha. (Don't hate me.)

Honey-Roasted Parsnips

- 2 1/2 pounds parsnips, peeled, halved lengthwise and cut into 2-inch lengths on the diagonal
-2 tablespoons olive oil
- course salt and ground pepper
- 1 tablespoon honey

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Divide parsnips and oil between two rimmed baking sheets and toss. Season with salt and pepper.

2. Roast until parsnips are tender and starting to brown, 35 to 40 minutes, tossing halfway through. Transfer to a serving bowl, drizzle with honey and stir to coat.

Posted by jen at 08:46 PM | Comments (19)

July 25, 2007

Rockin' My Way Back onto My Rocker

One more day!

I cannot believe I have made it through two days of the bar exam and am staring into the maw of day 3 already!

Thank you everyone for your well wishes.

No heads were shaved over the past few days, but I did, go, um, a little crazy. Off my rocker. I have never seen myself like this. It was a little scary.

By Sunday, I had developed (still have) a weird rash on my legs, 12 zits on my face (still there), and ITCHED EVERYWHERE. By Monday, the day before the exam, I was so close to meltdown that I called my parents at 9 a.m. to ask if I had hives, and if one could die from that. Apparently, as my dad told my sister Penny, I was showing signs of being a little "weepy," and needed to get the hell out of my apartment before I completely lost it.

Which is why, at 5:00 p.m. on Monday, Penny and Gwen ROCKED MY WORLD and suprised the hell out of me by knocking on my door with a bag of 100% complete! unadulterated! exam-taking fun! from Target. Including some Aveeno creme for my rash, Vitamin Water, breath mints, gum, face wipes, anti-bacterial hand stuff, Advil, EVERYTHING.

Oh, those girls.

And then those girls? They took me to THE MALL. Where I got a new black dress and denim skirt from The Gap, a $10 awesome bangle from Banana, everything I need to feel great about the upcoming vacay.

When I can go to bed past 10:30, I will post some pictures, maybe! I am that excited about my purchases! And also about returning to blogging! And commenting (sorry!)!

And then we had dinner at Morel's, my first non Lean Cuisine pizza meal in TWO WEEKS.

Oh. My. Holy. Crap.

They saved me, seriously. Rocked me right back on my rocker!

Gwen is heading off to law school herself in the fall, and man has she earned herself some good karma. I hope when she has decided that she KNOWS NOTHING and why even take those fall finals, really (actually, I hope she never feels this way, I hope I am the only one that nutty), someone comes along and rescues her, just like she did me.

And Penny? Now THAT is a good sister.

Seriously. Right back on my rocker. When I was so far off it I was like off the porch and about to head down the street braless and wailing about how equitable servitudes were a commie conspiracy.

One more day.

Posted by jen at 09:47 PM | Comments (9)

July 18, 2007

Reality...

Set in for me this evening.

Five more days.

And maybe I should be panicked? But really I am so f&*king grateful.

I was watching Top Chef tonight, watching them trudge in for another day of challenges, and I was like, holy crap! That is me. With the trudging. Only instead of trudging in to face Padme, Gail, Tom & some random chef nitpicking me to death, it's the sample student answers for the California Bar Exam. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE, with their 75 and 85 scores? Not me, that's who.

It sucks that the Top Chef contestants leave their families and friends and whatnot for however many weeks to hang out in a plush Fountainbleu suite, but DUDE, I have abandoned my friends and family for the last 8 weeks to hang out in my apartment and go STIR-F&*^CKING-CRAZY. Now I understand the whole Cliff shaving Marcel's head thing. After so long with one routine, one location, you just go batshit.

Which is where I am.

I just can't wait for this to be over. Yesterday I was so starved for sugar, caffeine, anything to keep me awake as I trudged through Community Property one more g-dforesaken time that I drank a bottled caramel frappaccino dated Feb. 2007.

Also, my kitchen is a living, breathing health code violation. My hair is so long I am almost one of those people who you're like, "Wow, they have really long hair and I wonder if perhaps they live in a yurt."

PLEASE LET THIS BE OVER.

But! I cannot leave on such a horrible, downtrodden note. So I will tell you that I have (finally) made all of our reservations for Brazil and Argentina, which includes some time in Argentinian wine country, some time with the pirhanas in the Amazon, and who the hell cares what else because it at least does not involve "reasonableness" of any kind, variety, species, type, sort, genus, etc.!!!!

I HATE YOU REASONABLENESS.

If you are a lawyer, law student, you will understand my hate for reasonableness.

Otherwise, you will think I am batshit crazy.

Which is closer to the truth.

To reality.

And whatnot.

Posted by jen at 10:17 PM | Comments (10)

July 05, 2007

I Am a Piece of Veal.

Really. I am being fattened for slaughter.

I sit, caged in my apartment, 24 hours a day, ingesting law, regurgitating it when it becomes too much. Waiting for the day of reckoning (just three short weeks away, hallelujah!). It's awesome.

HOWEVER, after talking to Laurie today (truly, you all need a friend who's into self-help. It reminds me of when I was going to therapy, and I would show up not only with my own myriad problems in tow, but also those of my friends. "So, what should she do? Should she dump this guy or what?" I'm sure my therapist loved it, yep. My friends sure did -- as do I when I now get to benefit from Laurie's newfound wisdom).

Hm. I forget to end my sentence. Interesting.

Anyway, I was talking to my new guru Laurie (reference: sentence fragment above). And she was mentioning the necessity of looking for things for which to grateful.

So I thought of a few.

1. Newfound hairstyle, a gift to the unwashed among us. (You know who you are (me).)

Dude, it is so awesome. A couple little french braids, a side of Alterna Shine spray, and it's like I washed my hair two days ago! Miracle! And bonus! I am in 10th grade again!

Front view.

Side view.

2. I have an appointment for color, cut, and a brazillian the day after the bar. I will be freshly coiffed EVERYWHERE! And ready for vacation.

3. Oh, Callanetics, I love you and your surprisingly effective butt exercises invented in the 1970s and practiced today only in Illinois, New Jersey and Oregon (how is it that this combo of states makes perfect sense to me?).

I do not love you because I think the Callan Pinckney of Callanetics is descended from the same Charles Pinckney that ensured the 3/5 rule made it into the Constitution (a-hole) (which I only know b/c I played George Washington in our 8th grade class' reenactment of the Constitutional Convention, and had to keep my then-arch nemesis, Cory, in line when he was playing the unruly Pinckney). In fact, I often feel weird when I am doing the exercises.

However, Callan is saving me for vacation in a bikini:

And entertaining me with her semi-erotic poses and love for the leotard.

Also, I really wanted to post the book's before-and-after photos of people's flabby-to-firm asses (in just 10 classes!), which are the real reason I still rely on this 1970s throwback exercise routine, but I also want to keep my job should an employer ever stumble upon this site.

So, you'll have to just imagine the magical transformation. Just like I am.

From veal.

To churrascaria and asado.

Posted by jen at 10:56 PM | Comments (9)

June 20, 2007

I Have Something To Say.

Not anything important, just SOMETHING, which is rare for me these days.

#1.
I am, yet again, walking around in pegged pants this evening, the product of a botched pedicure. The first one I did at 7:45 this morning, 10 minutes before I had to leave for stupid ^&*#$#$@ class. There is nothing like being about ready to leave the house before you remember that you took your nail polish off the night before, leaving your yellowed, ridged toes available for plain view. Ew.

Now, I'm trying to repair the damage.

p.s. This morning, in a fit of frustration, I also threw about 10 bottles of nail polish out as too thick, unsuitable for human use, and now they are staring at me in the garbage. I should leave them there, right? Thinning via nail polish remover is a fool's dream, right?

#2.
I hope you all do not think I am trying to be all Miss Smartypants with my law references. I thought about this today and realized you might think I might be suffering from a MAJOR case of Pretension, when you know, and I know, and I know that you know, that "an ounce of pretension is worth a handful of manure." But truly, I am just making stupid law references to convey de pain, de pain! that I am going through.

#3.
I love Top Chef. Favorite. But tonight there was a "Kingsford Barbeque Challenge." Is this really where we're at? THAT level of product placement, where EVERYTHING is named by brand? I got really mad when all of a sudden my beloved Candlestick (may live in LA now, but SF Giants fan 'til I die, PLEASE DO NOT MENTION BARRY TO ME) turned into Pac Bell park, even when the relocation brought some seriously awesome garlic fries.

Is this where we are, already? I know people have been selling their foreheads for a while now (I think my fivehead would go for double, surely), but is this really where we are? I find it troubling. You?

Posted by jen at 09:27 PM | Comments (8)

June 11, 2007

Good News Vulture

Man, it's slim pickins off a tired carcass here for happy news. It's hard to post when the only thought in your head is, WHY ISN'T THIS OVER YET?

It doesn't help that I spent SEVEN HOURS today listening to someone go over California and Federal Civil Procedure a la Bob Barker. "And what do we have HERE, ladies and germs, why it's In PerSOOOONam JurisDICtion, come on down!" I could handle the Real Property lecturer who taught us the elements of constructive eviction by singing them to the tune of a Dido song, but this was just TOO DAMN MUCH.

Anyway, Librarian Girl kindly tagged me with a meme (thanks!), so I've got that to look forward to, and there have been a few bright spots in the last week:

1. The Boy and I bought our tickets to Brazil/Argentina, woohoo!

2. I received my Envirosax reusable shopping bags, and they rock! Laurie, they are just the non-denominational grocery bags you are looking for and SO CUTE. They are not lying when they say they fit in your purse. Even when it is not the size of a weekender.

3. Arrested Development on DVD. Muy comico, hermano. Has replaced Barefoot Contessa as my evening repast.

4. Top Chef is starting on Wednesday! I am so excited -- and interested to see if a pattern emerges that's different from the past two seasons. Watching the 4 Star All Star episode tonight, I couldn't believe how closely aligned in character archetypes the first two seasons were.

5. The Closer is starting next Monday.

And yes, THREE of the five things on my list are TV. BECAUSE THAT IS MY LIFE. Rise. Attend class for 4 or 8 hours, depending on the day. Come home. Study for 5 hours. At some point, go for run so I do not go insane. Secretly glare at my neighbors walking their dogs, imagining them living carefree lives of domestic bliss. More studying. Watch TV. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Dammit, I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of this entry without whining.

Luckily, whining isn't a crime, as I've learned. If it were, though, it would have the following elements:

• (i) statement of frustration
• (ii) with a situation traditionally outside of the declarant's control
• (iii) that a reasonable person would find annoying either because:
  (a) nobody knows the troubles he's seen either!; or
  (b) would you SHUT UP, already?
• NOTE: this is a crime of malice: specific intent to annoy unnecessary; recklessness will suffice.

p.s. If you were also taking the California bar, you might find this mildly amusing. If not, I am sorry. And also on a post-hysteria high after today's lecture. Mea culpa.

Posted by jen at 10:36 PM | Comments (6)

June 01, 2007

On Courtship. Pun Totally Intended!

Studying for the bar is much like dating, I've decided.

There are a lot of ups and downs:

OMG! He called! ... to cancel.

I got a 70% on my property practice exam! ... but my correct answers were all lucky guesses.

It is also expensive:

Every first date for me required a new outfit. I am crazy that way.

Bar/Bri costs $3,000.

The most painful part, however, is that both require post-encounter analysis. I can't tell you how many hours I whiled away with Laurie on the phone dissecting every off-hand remark for meaning only to discover I HAD NO IDEA. And I can't tell you how many hours I've whiled away examining my incorrect answers on practice tests only to figure out that I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THE RULE AGAINST PERPETUITIES.*

With both the bar and dating, it's through your mistakes that you learn. And with both, learning is a pain in the ass, really.

After I take a practice exam? My first instinct is to:
(1) See how many I got right, then;
(2) Cry, then;
(3) Take a nap.

A slightly amended formula for the end of an unsuccessful relationship: failure, tears, nap, then a night out with the girlfriends.

Jettison mental cargo, leave the dock. Ahoy, matey #2!

Or at least that's what I always wanted to do. But then, I have to do the hard work. The going over of the answers: why did I pick A instead of C? What flawed premise was I working from? Why did it take me so long to understand A wasn't the right answer? What flawed concept is attracting me to A?

I'm just hoping that the same hard work I did with dating -- learning how to cut your losses early so you can move on, learning how to spot the right answer (woohoo!), will get me to the same result with bar preparation as it has with my love life:

Happy.

In other news, there was this great piece in Martha Stewart Living March 2007 about beautiful floral ribbon embroidery. And I tried to do some for my graduation thank you cards and failed -- my card stock wasn't strong enough for holes close enough to create flowers. But! tonight, after studying, I took a break and made my first embroidered card:

The writing looks a little cheesy, much like this post, but my first is always my worst, so I'm super excited for the next few I'll make!

OMG. Apparently, I cannot stop with the learning talk. Perhaps I will start my own daytime talk show, "Come Learn with Jen!" Unfortunately, the topics will be limited to:

- Which covenants run with the land
- How to make kind of crappy-looking crafts that your family and friends endure because they love you

Still, I think it will be a hit. With me. I'm an easy one to court with that kind of stuff.

*I am not the only one. There is a famous California case where the court refused to find for the plaintiff in a malpractice suit against a lawyer who didn't, like me, understand the rule against perpetuities.

Posted by jen at 11:03 PM | Comments (5)

May 17, 2007

Now What?

You know when something really big ends, and you're left wondering, "now what?" That's where I've been.

But first, thank you so much for all your congratulations! They made me so happy!

Graduation weekend was amazing. I had an awesome grad night dinner at Luna Park with Laurie, Gloria, Amber, Penny and my parents. There, I requested mayonnaise with my fries, and when the waiter remarked, "How very European of you," I am totally embarrassed of how secretly pleased I was. Of course, I'm pretty sure I immediately eviscerated any appearance of culture when I started collecting everyone's plastic monkeys, bulls, giraffes, etc. from their cocktails for my home collection of Plastic Crap I Got For Free In Bars.

I also met all The Boy's family, who were all wonderful (THANK G-D). And I only managed to horribly embarrass myself once, spilling half-and-half all over his sister while making her, her boyfriend, The Boy and my family a Barefoot Contessa brunch. Luckily, his sister is kind of glamorous and with that comes grace, so she reacted kindly to my gaffe.

But now, now all the stress, fun, and stressful fun is over. And I'm in a holding pattern, waiting to start studying for the California Bar.

And I'm tired. And kind of sick.

BUT, this week hasn't all been for naught. I did paint my bathroom, woohoo!

And made some roasted tomatoes.

And we attempted asparagus ravioli, one of my worst culinary failures yet. Picture piles of limp, empty ravioli floating in a sea of riccotta and asparagus slivers and you get the idea.

Luckily, we had a bottle of the same wine we ordered for my 30th in Guatemala at Francis Ford Coppola's La Lancha resort.

Wine makes everything takes better.

Also, I've watched a lot of basketball, and I have to say, I love the Suns' Steve Nash. He makes the game FUN to watch. Also, isn't it kind of weird that The Jazz are now in Utah? The crowd is composed solely of blonde whiteys! It's more like, jazz hands there, dude. No offense, if you are from/live in Utah. Or if you are blonde. Or white. Or like jazz hands. Love me some jazz hands, especially when made by some blonde whiteys!

Now I'm working on painting my living room, but I'll finish that tomorrow morning. And I know it's a little too late to do find a new hobby in the next three days before studying for the Bar starts for real -- but what would you do, if you were me? What movies would you see? Songs would you download? Books would you read? Activities would you engage in?

Gimme some (more) love -- now what?

Posted by jen at 10:22 PM | Comments (7)

May 09, 2007

DONE.

1. Papers done! Graduy tomorrow!

2. Paper zits. Much like paper cuts, only more painful and more frustrating when you're about to meet your boyfriend's entire family.

3. Finally! My Ralph's doesn't carry B&J's AmeriCone Dream, but finally I found some at another store. I love me some ice cream from the man who brought us this.

4. As a post-paper-#1 splurge, I bought Grain de Folie perfume, based on this review by this food blogger I read, and I am loving it! It's so funny how you can put on a perfume that you love and stop smelling it within 5 minutes, but a new one haunts you all day long!

It came with some matching moisturizer, with a bizarre disclaimer:

Apparently it moisturizes the upper skin layers only. Um, OK, I assumed all products just moisturized the upper skin layers only. There are products that don't?? Perhaps the French are smarter than we are?

5. I am done, done, done!!!

Posted by jen at 11:59 AM | Comments (31)

May 04, 2007

The Panic Is Settling in Slowly, Like an Exaggerated Caffeine Headache

Paper due Monday at noon. 10 pages written. 20 to go. Writing about global climate change (I heard something about polar bears the other day?).

Posted by jen at 08:56 AM | Comments (7)

April 25, 2007

Expiry Dates

Why do Americans call it an expiration date, while the Brits call it an expiry date? I like expiry much better -- there are entirely too many ation endings on words, in my opinion.

Perhaps I believe this because I have spent the last few weeks writing 50 pages of poorly-constructed legal analysis chock-full of ation words: representation, discrimination, condemnation, investigation, relation. Wouldn't they all look better ending in a y? Investigy, condemny. Why yes, they would, Jen, I'm so glad you asked! Of course, my papers would be shorter then, every character counts, so perhaps I should be happy we are a nation of ation-ers. Nation! Ation! Ha. Eek.

In any case, paper-writing begets rotting celery and asparagus in my refrigerator and shopping limited to quick runs for Lean Cuisine pizzas and Cokes. I haven't had time to even do that lately, so today I confronted a bevy of past-their-prime foods. Which I ate. Defiantly.

You see, most of me believes that expiration dates are a conspiracy by the FDA and corporate fat cats to make us buy more. Apparently some guy and his mother (she posts a comment, too cute) agree with me -- although they limit their theory to condiments. Wusses.

My conspiracy theory for a long time extended to vacuum bags. I really believed that at any moment, Eureka would discontinue MMs just so I would have to buy a new vacuum. So I'd just empty out the bags and reinsert them. It took some serious ribbing/use of logic from Laurie -- "Jen, they have been making MMs since like 1912. Vacuums are supposed to last forever. There is no corporate plot here." -- to get me to break down and buy some new bags. Of course, now I have my Dyson, which doesn't need no stinkin' bags.

Also, I think this is the first time I have typed the phrase, "corporate fat cats," and now all I can picture is Fred & Ethel in suits. In suits without pants. Cats don't need no stinkin' pants to look dapper, man.

The point of these incoherent ramblings is that my expiry date as a law student is scarily close. Yesterday was my last day of classes. EVER. In 16 days I will be donning a cap and gown and sweating profusely in an uncomfortable chair for several hours, waiting to hear my name called so that I know it's officially over. And I can't wait! For graduy.

Posted by jen at 02:41 AM | Comments (14)

April 23, 2007

Double R Diner*

Embarrassment #1: I have been spelling embarrasment with one "R" for like, EVER. Why are there two Rs? It only needs one, right? Right? Why do you hate me, dictionary? Isn't it enough that I can pronounce neither sudoku nor aspartame correctly?

#2, 8, 467, etc.:

When I'm stressed out, I become a total clutz. Well, "become" is perhaps inaccurate. I will just say that my clutziness is amplified.

The clutziness set in a few days ago -- yesterday I managed to drop a $5.99 CFL lightbulb on the floor while switching an old wattage-sucker out.

Luckily, today, I went shoe and Target shopping with Laurie -- but first we stopped by to get our free CFL lightbulbs at Home Depot, yay! I remember thinking to myself as we got our envirobulbs, "woohoo, Even Steven!"

Oh, you little fool. Your optimism is so cute! Quaint even!

In DSW, I managed to knock one bag and then one pair of shoes off the shelves. In Target, a makeup bag. When I got home, apparently my clumsiness had infected my felines because Fred managed to knock a leftover, half-full beer bottle onto the kitchen floor. And while cleaning it up, I stepped right into a piece of last night's broken lightbulb, which meant I left a nice, bloody trail into the bathroom.

Awesome!

And tonight, I supped with Brie, one of my best high school friends, at Jar, which, um, CRAB DEVILED EGGS. Impossibly good. And p.s., Sarah Paulson was there, whom, oddly enough, I saw this summer at Falcon. Also, p.s., how come I know the correct usage of whom and who and yet I can't spell embaRRassed? The irony. The Iliad. The Odyssey.

Anyway, before I headed out, I had given myself an anti-clutz pep talk, like, Jen, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT SPILL ANYTHING.

Yeah.

I made it through the entire amazing meal without knocking anything over. I did accidentally ask the waiter how he was doing twice, which was weird, and I believe I blushed and was kind of brusque when I placed my order, "the oxtail," to mask my embaRRassment. But that is par for the course, people.

Then the bill came. And with it, my dignity left. In reaching for the bill, I managed to spill my entire glass of water all over the table.

And my pants.

And my shirt.

And the banquette.

And the floor.

Sweet bejeebus, how can one little water glass transform you into a wet t-shirt contest participant, AND harken you back to second grade when you peed your pants and the school nurse took pity on you and drove you home (totally against school rules) to get a fresh pair because you refused to wear The Dregs of the Pant Universe available in the lost-and-found? (p.s., LYLAS, SWAK, have a bitchin' summer, school nurse!)

By the embaRRassment-doubling power of stress-fueled clutziness, that's how.

+++
*Big nerdy props if you know the pop culture reference this refers to.

Posted by jen at 12:38 AM | Comments (8)

April 17, 2007

My Lovely Lady Lumps

This title has absolutely nothing to do with this entry -- because my life is so incredibly boring right now that the only other title I could come up with was "Meh!" The exclamation point represents the false enthusiasm I occasionally try to conjure up when talking to friends and family. Can't have them thinking I'm having second thoughts about going to law school THREE WEEKS from graduating! That would be INSANE, right? Oops!

Meh(!)

OK, I am not really having second thoughts. I just really don't want to write two more papers and take my Evidence exam.

Anyway, here are the only remotely interesting things that have happened to me since I last posted:

1. I went to dinner at Le Petit Bistro, moules frites are awesome. Also, I have decided I am done with ketchup. Fini! Mayonnaise seulement, s'il-vous-plait!

2. I snagged a graduation dress for $35. Someone returned a Proenza Schouler dress in my size to my local Target, I couldn't believe it. This makes up for the ridiculously expensive jeans I just purchased. Which means, yes! My will to shop has returned.

3. Had a nice brunch with Ursula, who has apparently foresaken blogging, and her husband Mike and The Boy. For some reason our conversation kept coming back to television we subject our men to. Ursula's vice: too much entertainment television. Mine: House Hunters and Restaurant Makeover. Also, can I tell you how completely depressing it is to watch people buying first homes for under $500,000? I love California, but DAMN, is it expensive.

4. OK, The Boy demands I mention our purchase of the Greatest Shopping Bags Ever. He feels a deep connection with the universe, apparently, in having these insanely popular amongst all peoples of the world bags. I am down with this -- apparently, we all need to feel connected to the world or else gunning 33 people down won't seem impossible.

5. I've decided on a location for my bar trip -- which, if you, you lucky bastard, are not a law student and don't know any (we're kind of jerks), is the trip we law students take between taking the bar and starting our jobs. South America, specifically Brazil, Argentina and Uraguay. If you've got any suggestions as to specific places to go, lemme know!

That's all, it's boring, but you love my lady lumps anyway, right? Cuz if not, what else, what else I'm gon' do with all this junk? All that junk inside this trunk?

Posted by jen at 11:08 PM | Comments (11)

March 27, 2007

PaperWatch 2007: Day 4: By the Numbers

The casualties and costs are racking up.

Cokes consumed: 10

Episodes of What Not To Wear watched: 5

Footnotes: 62

Pages written: 12 in Times New Roman 12, 14 in Courier New 11

Probable number of hours before I switch to Courier New: 12

Number of times I wanted to vomit watching Dave and Deena make love amongst the bovines this evening on What About Brian (Why, WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING THIS SHOW?): 2.6 (it was a very short scene)

Number of times I laughed out loud when ABC aired a commercial for KY Intrigue right after cow love scene: 1 (Deena, Holsteins do not ring your bell? No?)

Number of times I have considered dropping out of law school to become an artisanal cheesemaker: OK, 0, but I am seriously considering this as a post-law/retirement career. Cheese rocks!

p.s. I think I deleted someone's comment from yesterday's post in some overzealous comment spam deleting -- sorry!!

Posted by jen at 12:36 AM | Comments (8)

March 19, 2007

Skirting the Truth

Today in Sex Discrimination, we were talking about issues re: women in the legal field, including skirt suits v. pant suits at interviews. I got a little bit up on my high horse during the discussion, unfortunately, because I've always been of the opinion that a employer who needs to see my gams before hiring me is one I don't want to work for.

We talked about how those who make the choice to wear the skirt suit often do so out of fear, risk avoidance. We're not sure if employers care if we wear our femininity, but why take the chance?

Of course, there's a risk in not wearing the pant suit -- the chance to know it's the kind of firm who will hire you anyway (or that won't).

I felt a little bad afterward -- it's easy to practice my viewpoint in California, where the legal profession's dress codes are relaxed. We all have to make tough choices about how we present ourselves, both professionally and personally. Who am I to judge? I remember a distinct feeling of relief when I had enough work experience that I didn't have to list my college internship at NOW on my resume any more.

Dating is another area where you have to consider what to share and when -- e.g., when is the appropriate time to admit I've got 2 cats? Whom I ask for advice on which shoes look best with those jeans? That I'm a FUTURE LAWYER (see how they run)?

Usually I follow an "out with it" policy -- any man that can't love my cats, I can't love. I won't take the risk of not finding that out quickly. Even so, I hedge. I save the real scary stuff -- e.g., I like to embroider tea towels and sometimes greet Fred & Ethel with, "Mama's home!" -- 'til date #87 or so. It's a safer bet.

Posted by jen at 11:07 PM | Comments (12)

March 06, 2007

I Think I'm Turning Japanese, I Really Think So*

Photo credit to Chotda, courtesy of Creative Commons

Oh, web Sudoku
I can't even pronounce you
Yet I can't quit you

For reals, yo. Perhaps it's because my alternative is to study for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam, which is so interminably boring I'd be willing to watch Married with Children or pick nits out of the hair of any lice-infested second-graders you'd like to send my way.

Any other procrastination suggestions? I go to bed and all I see are floating grids of numbers accompanied by the taunt, "Bottom 34%. 76% of people are faster than you."

*OK, so Sudoku isn't even Japanese. Actually, this makes the three hours I spent playing it today -- NOT playing an an ancient Asian art form but instead "NumberPlace," invented by Howard Garns -- even more depressing.

Posted by jen at 11:23 PM | Comments (10)

February 02, 2007

Booger-Eaters Have No Right To Philosophize at My Table

Seriously. Today I watched a 1L pick his nose and eat it THREE TIMES. IN THE LAW LIBRARY. Which is, you know, IN PUBLIC.

I was in awe, truly. I mean, when I do something inappropriate, say, readjust the undies to avoid a little VPL, I do it SURREPTITIOUSLY. With an eye to who might be able to see.

I was in awe. Also, I wanted to take a shower.

Then, his cronies joined him at my library table, and suddenly started to loudly debate the merits of naziism and fascism!

At first, I tried to ignore them. When you're in law school, you're almost immune to the shock of people who, for example, think poor people suck.

But it continued. I could hear them even over The Shins' new "Wincing the Night Away." My adoption of the iPod, many incredulous looks and not subtle shakes of the head couldn't stop them.

And that's when I decided. I could take no more.

"Um, if you can't SHUT UP ENTIRELY, then you could AT LEAST WHISPER."

In retrospect, I was too kind.

Posted by jen at 01:03 AM | Comments (10)

December 13, 2006

Cry It Out

The other night I started crying without warning. This is not something you want to do in front of the man you're seeing. Even if he is a kind man and just hugs you, I still don't recommend it.

It's finals, the stress. And also the fact that I'm going to be 30 in three weeks. And as the semester is ending, it reminds me, law school is ending. This dredges up all sorts of questions about what the heck I want from life.

So anyway, I believe there is only one cure for this kind of misdirected malaise: The Tearjerker.

Really? There is nothing better than a sad movie to just RELEASE all that angst. It's more than mental, it's the PHYSICAL sense of release. A good cry is the high colonic of emotional regulation. Only after, you don't want to eat a house; you just want to go to bed. And hug your cats.

Here are my Top 5 Tearjerkers, guaranteed to make me cry no matter how many times I've seen them:

1. Steel Magnolias. The funeral scene never fails to make me sob uncontrollably. And then laugh so hard: "HALF O' CHIQUAPIN PARISH'LL GIVE THEIR EYE-TEETH TO TAKE A WHACK O' OUISER!"

2. Sense and Sensibility. When Emma Thompson cries, I do.

3. Dead Poets Society. Duh. Also, when I first fell in love with Josh Charles.

4. My Sassy Girl. The Boy introduced me to this one. AMAZING.

5. Snow Falling on Cedars. I started crying in the first five minutes, AND NEVER STOPPED. Literally. 127 minutes of crying.

What are your top 5 tearjerkers?

Posted by jen at 10:18 PM | Comments (18)

December 07, 2006

Last Four Temptations of Me

1. The air of a two-block stretch of my nightly run is filled with the fabulous, fried fragrance of KFC. So far I have resisted, but I may celebrate finals with a big ole bucket of chicken.

Really, it's almost as bad as college, when I lived across the street from both a tacqueria AND a 24-hour donut shop. I attribute 8 of my sophomore 15 to them. The other 7 I attribute to having two roommates with boyfriends, when all I had was Chinese homework. Bu hao.

2. After 5 days of non-stop studying, I couldn't take it any more and bought a Christmas tree! So many pretty lights to stare at.

3. My soon-to-be employer sent me cookies again. This year they did not include a calorie count, but somehow I don't think this makes the cookies any more helpful to my ass.

4. Last night I made some of Rachel Ray's Sicilian Sausage and Fennel Pasta*, AWESOME. But now I have Sambuca in my apartment.

Temptation, temptation everywhere.

What were your last 4 temptations?

*****************************

*Sicilian Sausage and Fennel Pasta
3/4 lb bulk sweet sausage (also called mild italian sausage, and could also substitute toulouse sausage, or I just used pre-packaged Aidells' apricot and ginger sausage from Ralph's and it was really good)
1 bulb fresh fennel, tops and outer layer trimmed away
1/2 medium white onion
3 cloves garlic (I just used minced in a jar, fine)
A pinch allspice
Black pepper, to taste
1 cup chicken broth
1/3 cup Pernod or Anisette liqueur (I used Sambuca)
1 lb penne, cooked until al dente
3 tablespoons (twice around pan) heavy cream or half-and-half (I used h&h)
Grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese, for the table (so easy with my new microplane!)

Break up sausage in deep skillet and brown over medium heat. Cut fennel and onion into chunks and process with garlic in food processor or mince by hand.

Add the fennel, onion and garlic to pot. Sprinkle with allspice and pepper. Give the pan a good shake**. Add broth. Cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 10 minutes, until fennel bits are tender.

Uncover and bring heat up to medium again. Let the broth reduce by half, about 5 minutes. Douse with liqueur. Bring mixture back to a boil. Drain pasta (uh, Rachel, when we supposed to put it onto boil? I think a good time was about when you cover the skillet to simmer). Add cream to sauce and give pan a shake. Toss immediately with the pasta. Serve with plenty of grated cheese and extra black pepper.

**If you don't have a deep skillet, like me, stirring will do just fine.

Posted by jen at 09:52 PM | Comments (5)

December 04, 2006

Dirty Pretty Things

First, a few disclaimers:
I was trying for a clever movie reference w/ this entry's title, but in fact it is about dirty AND pretty things. And also, not so much about pretty things. More about happy things, OK, ONE happy thing (finals suck!). And finally, I haven't even seen the movie (I suck!).

Dirty Things

1. Me.

I have not washed my hair in THREE DAYS. It's gross. AND I'm getting a haircut tomorrow, which means I have to get up an hour early to wash it in the hopes it will dry on time so Roberta doesn't think I've either a) got dementia (she is like, 22, so she probably thinks anyone over the age of 27 is ripe for senility), or b) I'm gross (I am, and p.s. my body has atrophied from sitting in one place and p.p.s whine! (Laurie says it burns calories)).

2. My apartment.

Because I have not left my couch for three days? Neither have Fred & Ethel. Which means aside from the deserted island of where my bottom rests, my couch is a sea of cat hair. Yummy!

Pretty Ugly, But Happy Thing

Oh, how I have been holiday shopping my little atrophied buns off every night when I just can't handle any more perjury or conflicts of interest or the fruits and instrumentalities of crime.

And I couldn't resist buying myself THIS:

Oooh, I am so happy!! I used to have one in my old apartment, and after a long day of arguing with people over whether a link should say "Click here" or "Click here now," I could come home and have a cold one without shuffling around in some drawer for the bottle opener, which, as everyone knows, is always hidden underneath the cheese grater, which you inevitably scrape a knuckle on.

No more!

p.s. For some reason, I cannot effectively study without a bra on. My old boss used to say the reason why he didn't believe in business casual was that people's work reflects their dress. At the time, I was like, "Dude, sure, you just say that because you've got like 40 years of Brooks Brothers in your closet, two pairs of khakis that you alternate wearing to Applebee's on Friday nights, and one pair of shorts that you haul out once a year when your wife forces you to go to your neighbor's BBQ." But now? I believe my bra is HELPING MY MIND. Thank you, Victoria's Secret.

Posted by jen at 10:06 PM | Comments (7)

December 01, 2006

Know What Sucks about Trying To Learn an Entire Semester's Worth of Material in Nine Days?

EVERYTHING.

On a related note:

Dear justices of the U.S. Courts of Appeals,

Why can you be-robed people not agree on anything? Would it be so hard for there just to be ONE TEST for something? Pick up the damn phone, caucus, something! Why can't we all just get along?

XOXO,
Jen

Posted by jen at 02:16 PM | Comments (4)

November 29, 2006

Death and Taxes

Some things in life are certain.

If it's two weeks away from finals, I'll inevitably be doing the following:

a) Procrastinating via the joy of the innernets (via kottke.org). Seriously, The. Joy. I laughed as much as the baby did. Kan man ha roligare???

b) Procrastinating via holiday present planning, thank you Gloria! "In this era of the rejected, maligned fruitcake, few holiday traditions remain that successfully unite the kitchen, gift giving and hard alcohol."

c) Thinking, I can totally learn Professional Responsibility in 11 days, right? I mean, just don't sleep with your clients and you're cool, right? (WRONG. You can TOTALLY sleep with your clients, AWESOME! (well, under certain limited circumstances that I can't explain to you because I haven't done ANY reading for that class, double AWESOME!))

In conclusion: Sleeping with clients? Maybe. Death, taxes, and staring into the maw of academic failure? For certain.

Posted by jen at 11:09 PM | Comments (7)

August 22, 2006

Lady of Leisure

I have designed my schedule this semester (I LOVE BEING A 3L) so that I have

a) no class that starts before 1:40
b) Wednesday and Friday off
c) only two finals

Suddenly I have an entire day to myself tomorrow. And enough leisure time to start thinking about things beyond my to-do lists. Like:

• Why, if they can invent stretchy jeans, can they not create a pair that doesn't give you saggy butt by the end of the day? Seriously. I would pay good money for that.
• Paris Hilton's album debuted today. Not only do I have to see her butt cheeks on Hollywoodrag.com once a week, but apparently she'll be polluting my airwaves as well. THERE is a woman with too much time and too few panties on her hands.
• Jam. The Office. I know I'm a dork, but this preview gave me CHILLS. Thank you, Penny, for making me watch that show!
• What color should I get my nails done tomorrow? DURING THE DAY. Because I am a Lady of Leisure now. That's my job. Lady of Leisure. La-la-la-Lady of Leeeesure. Lady Leisuremeister. Anyway, what color? I realized the other day I've been painting my fingernails in the same Ballet Slippers/Sandy Beach family and my toes in the darkest burgundy-red available since like 2002. What should I try?

Aren't you glad I've been spending all my free time on valuable, world-altering thoughts? I'm sure I'll have the cure for cancer or maybe just some cute new shoes by next week.

Posted by jen at 11:16 PM | Comments (11)

July 20, 2006

The Writing on the Wall

Dude, now I know why Miss Doxie sadly only posts her hilarious stories every couple weeks. Being a lawyer is HARD, man. And I'm not even a real one yet!

It's 11 o'clock, and I just got home a few minutes ago. I worked both days last weekend. And yet for all this work? I have nothing interesting to tell you! And even if something interesting did happen, goodness knows I wouldn't have anything interesting to WRITE about it. That would require thoughts beyond, "When can I go home and have a beer? Or eight?"

While I am whining, can I tell you my A/C is still out? This cuts seriously into my ability to skip showering and roll into work in my awful wool pants circa 1999, a button-down I've worn two times this week already and my hair in a ponytail.

One more: the bottom half of my left shin keeps going numb. Do you think I am dying? I'm pretty sure I am. I bet in heaven you don't have to calculate total percentage ownership of shared dispositive stocks.

Meh.

Beer.

Posted by jen at 11:00 PM | Comments (10)

July 05, 2006

Fulfilling My Civic Duty

There's all sorts of duties I have to fulfill these days.

No lie, but in the last three weeks, I have had ONE NIGHT that I didn't have plans. Firm events (mainly), concerts, parties, etc. The only reason I didn't have plans that lone night in fact is that I skipped kickball.

I am exhausted. Also, my liver is pickled.

However, I am, surprisingly enough, loving my job even if I am continually two ticks away from a heart attack.

But today, today, I missed work. For JURY DUTY. Eek.

I was THIS CLOSE to being empaneled. Four jurors left in the pool, and I'm still sitting there, Juror #7, crapping my figurative pants over how I'll be working every night after duty (duty, ha!) is over to meet all my deadlines and cursing the Los Angeles criminal court system, when suddenly, hail-be-to-something, the defense attorney excuses me.

TIP #1: When you are DESPERATE not to serve jury duty, but can't say under oath you won't be able to be an impartial juror and follow the law? Just stare at the defendant. Go ahead, stare. Get caught staring by the defense. Get caught staring at him with this ponderous expression on your face that screams, "I am wondering whether I am his next victim and what he looked like when he was committing those atrocities."

TIP #2: When the 1-800-SRV-JURY message tells you "business casual?" This does not mean:
a) Tube tops
b) F**k-me heels paired with a nice mini and mesh top.
c) Oh, I give up. 97% of the outfits worn in the greater downtown area.

Anyway, I was glad to be excused from this one duty. I've got enough.

Too much.

Everything else has been neglected. My friends, my family. I only finally heard about my brother's honeymoon this evening.

And of course, this blog. And your blogs. I'm sorry.

But a blog-infused existence is on the horizon. Just four weeks left. Then I'll be duty-free.

Posted by jen at 11:16 PM | Comments (4)

June 12, 2006

Just Call Me Quasimodo

I don't know about you, but I am transparent. A horrible liar. Every emotion I have reads on my face and my body like, well, a book. For me, apparently a book in which I am not saving Esmerelda from her fate in the streets. No, just a mundane story in which my body gives away my stress.

I start out the day with my shoulders where they should be, perpendicular to my nose. And slowly but surely, they inch up to be around my ears. In meetings I have to constantly remind myself to lower them.

BTW, if you haven't seen yourself videotaped in meetings? Watch your shoulders. See what happens when you're being confronted by difficulty. They're like the high-school-prom-date-do-the-Humpty-Dance-of-stress, man. Aw, takes me back.

Anyhoo, the psychologically back-breaking part of working again sucks, to be sure. But the REAL back-breaking part of working again? THAT IS MY FAVORITE EVER. My firm is split up onto three floors, and the library is on the floor up from me, and hail be to SOMETHING, there are STAIRS! And after every project, I get to haul up about 15 pounds of books back up to the library. I LOVE IT.

It really is my dream in life to be a sherpa. I don't know if it's the martyr in me (thank you, Mother), the Napoleon in me, what. But I LOVE me to carry something that looks ridiculously unmanageable. If you are local, ever need to move? Dude, call me up! I will haul 80-lb TVs until I can't move.

Speaking of broken (my back), though, can I tell you what has broken in the last few weeks?

• My car
• One plate, spontaneously in the microwave, to the shock and chagrin or Fred, the microwave stalker
• One shoe, to the shock and chagrin of its wearer
• My computer, which hates iTunes
• A pillow
• Two Swell duvet covers, damn you Cynthia Rowley and Ilene Rosenzweig
• A pair of sunglasses
• My heart, j/k, how can something made of reinforced rebar break?

I am just grateful all this breakage occurs when I have a job that pays for it all. But if this is just the beginning of the onslaught, if I'm about to be mobbed by everything that's been waiting for me to have a job to be able to pay for it?

Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

Posted by jen at 11:06 PM | Comments (9)

May 15, 2006

First Day, Burning Questions

Today was my first day at work at The Firm. There was lots of orienting involved. Firm orientation, library orientation, technology orientation, and of course an ergonomics video from the 1980s w/ some serious Lee Press-Ons and a shot of a Macintosh HD box. Awesome.

A very good first day.

And my burning question is: what should I bring to work tomorrow to decorate my new office with?

a) My homies and my bunny.

b) A nice line-up of Tums, Gas-X, and Pepto Bismol, to scare anyone out of my office quickly.

c) An 8x10 glossy of my cats. Also to scare anyone out of my office quickly.

d) My old softball trophies, and the ribbon from when I won the long jump in 2nd grade.

What do you think?

Posted by jen at 08:30 PM | Comments (14)

May 08, 2006

I Feel Just Like That Guy from Shawshank Redemption

Those were the very apropos words of Neeta an hour ago, when we finished OUR LAST FINAL!

I am so crazed from the joy and the 1.5 hours of sleep and the prospect of NO STUDYING FOR THREE MONTHS that I don't even know what to do with myself! Besides do the "Guess who's done with finals (to the tune of Homer's You Don't Win Friends with Salad)" dance around my apartment.

I guess I better get busy living.

Posted by jen at 01:16 PM | Comments (10)

May 05, 2006

Big Drinks, Porn, and the Culinary Arts

Three finals (in three days!) down, one more to go. Also:

1) When I told Gloria that when this was all over on Monday I would need a drink the size of my head, she said, "That's a big drink."

Pic from a BBQ over at Laurie's last summer.

2) One of my favorite things to do when procrastinating is to Google people. This is how I discovered that this woman from my golf class is an adult film star! I tell Gwen this, and Gwen replies, "Shouldn't she be taking a class out at LA Valley College?" Later, I tell Laurie, without telling her Gwen's reaction, and she says, "Oooh, is she from the Valley?"* I love my friends, and I love LA.

3) Another of my favorite procrastination methods is IM. In fact, usually I have to disconnect my computer from the innernets entirely during finals. But this week I've been bad, and this is my conversation with a Fellow Procrastinating Classmate:

FPC: L O S T

me: i haven't been able to watch it for weeks, months
but i am totally watching top chef tonight

FPC: you're that dedicated, huh?

me: i am
it's the next to last one

FPC: i meant about school
but i like that top chef was interpreted

me: ha

Ha. Can't wait for Monday and that drink the size of my (ginormous) head.

*Also, if you are not from LA, never saw Boogie Nights, and have no idea why I think this is so funny, it's because the San Fernando Valley is the porn capital of the US.

Posted by jen at 01:48 PM | Comments (4)

April 30, 2006

If There Is a Line, I Surely Have Crossed It

This is what I looked like on Wednesday. Happy, having dinner at Citizen Smith with one of my best friends from high school, Brie, in town accepting a PRISM award, woohoo!

I will not tell you what I look like now. FINALS. I have not left the house in four days and I know I won't be leaving it for another two. The only contact I have with the world is through frantic calls with Neeta and less-frantic but certainly no-less-whiny (me) calls with Laurie.

I might, might, have, gotten a little PUNCHY.

I might, say, after outlining the GATT, WTO, and the hubs-and-spokes approach to growing GDP via free-trade agreements and customs unions, made up a little song that I've been singing to myself. If you like, you can sing along! I have to warn you, though, it's a total earworm. Don't blame me if you're singing it in the shower tomorrow.

Hubs, hubs, hubs and spokes
Gently grow the team
Greedily, greedily, greedily greedily
Build your rev'nue stream

After I'd exhausted the joy-producing abilities of my new anthem, I might also have taken a gander at the cats, who'd spent their day SNORING and EATING and CHASING THINGS AROUND THE APARTMENT, and gotten really bitter, and started to wonder what the hell they're contributing to the relationship ANYHOW. And then I might have worried that I thought the words "relationship" and "cats" in the same sentence. But then I might have started to think about if I really did want them to start pitching in with the studying, what kinds of courses they'd want to take.

Cat Liability for Owner Injury
A real-world look at cat liability for injuries they cause to their owners. We'll look at the duties, if any, cats owe their owners, liability avoidance strategies, owner sudden movement and loud noises as contributory negligence, and limitations on damages if the owners are really whiny about it.

Fiduciary Obligations of Pet Owners
This innovative course attempts to answer the question: just what are the obligations of a companion human? How much petting is enough? We'll also look at companion human liability for cat obesity and unscooped litterboxes.

Sleep & The Law
This class will look at the intersection between law and sleep. In addition to a weekly response paper (subsitutable with nap for those without opposable thumbs), it will involve some hands-on exploration of sleeping. Mmm, sleep.

Ack. Shutup. I told you I was punchy.

Mmm, sleep.

Posted by jen at 11:35 PM | Comments (8)

April 24, 2006

I TRIPLE-Dog Dare You

I learned today that one of my classmates, one I don't know, totally hacked off his second toe for a dare of $5000.

AND, he didn't get it reattached!

AND, he sometimes wears sandals!

That totally beats the time in 12th grade I bit into a formaldehyde-soaked crayfish in bio on a $1 dare from Trent Fallin (too cute to resist).

I really wish I knew this guy so I could get some more details. I couldn't even listen to the explanation of how he did it; the storyteller was making gardening sheer type motions with his hands and I was lalalalalala, eyes closed. Now I am regretting this girly behavior because I NEED to know:

1. Why didn't he get it reattached? Was it part of the dare to lose it forever?

2. What instrumentality did he use to get that thing off?

3. What on earth do potential girlfriends think when he tells them HE CUT OFF HIS OWN TOE?

Posted by jen at 10:56 PM | Comments (16)

April 18, 2006

Dear Everyone In My CrimPro Class, or at Least Everyone within a Four Row Radius

Yes, that was my stomach that emitted that horrendous gurgle the other day.

I certainly wasn't surprised. This happens to me every semester; in the last month before finals, my stomache acid content trebles.

I was, however, embarassed at the time. I may in fact have slid down a foot in my seat and piled as as much Weinrib's Criminal Justice and supplementary materials into my lap as I could in the hopes that it would mask any subsequent howls from my midsection.

But now? I have decided that I am PROUD of my stomach's melodies. It just shows I got it goin' on down there. Who knows what my intestines are up to? Perhaps they were just celebrating finding the cure for cancer. Or letting out their barbaric yawp. Or celebrating their division title v. The Spleens (surely, an epic match).

So next time my stomach decides to exercise its First Amendment right to expression, I'm going to sit up straight, look around at all those searching faces trying to ascertain the source of the growl, and give them The Nod. Ooh, maybe even a simultaneous one-eyebrow lift if I'm in the mood.

That's right. We are loud, we are proud, we are Jennifer's intestines. Hear us ROAR.

Posted by jen at 11:05 PM | Comments (12)

March 01, 2006

The Accidental Inquisitor

So, per Dan's request, lemme tell you what an atrocious monster law school has rendered me.

One thing you have to read a lot of in law school is court cases. Many, many, often interminable and impenetrable court cases. And your job is to outlast and to penetrate.

You have to poke holes in the court's reasoning. Explore alternate theories. Extend the logic the opinion is resting on to its absolute, and usually ridiculous, limit. And more important, seize upon details in the facts of the case that, if altered, might make it come out differently in some cock-eyed hypothetical your professor might put on an exam. Like, if he had been deeply religious, but NOT a mental patient, would the court have come out the same way?

This is your job.

And.

Oops!

All of a sudden you're The Inquisitor.

Laurie may be telling me a long, involved (She is Southern. She can't help it. Love you, Laurie! You are my memory.) story of why her day was lame. And one, small, miniscule part of that story might be that there was some idiot on the bus who smelled.

But suddenly! I NEED MORE DETAILS. Where was he sitting? Did YOU wear your deoderant that day? Was it raining? Were you wearing wool? How many seats away was he? Did the bus driver smile at you when you got on? What time did you get on the bus? What was he wearing? Did other people smell it? Really? Did they LOOK like they might have smelled it? Were they on the phone? Was the traffic bad? What day of the week was it?

And so on.

Because I NEED MORE DETAILS.

Because I'm trying to.. Um. FIND A HOLE IN MY BEST FRIEND'S STORY ABOUT WHY HER DAY SUCKED???

Because this is... NORMAL BEHAVIOR???

And then I get a knot in my stomach and realize, my life? Will never be the same.

Because I am The Inquisitor. I will never be able to hear a simple story from my friend about how a man on the bus smelled without wondering: But did he really smell? And even if he did, would one small change in circumstances mean she never would have noticed?

And this, let me tell you, is not the kind of friend you want to be.

And p.s.? It gets worse. Because, when I say that I wonder about a small change in circumstances dictating the outcome, I realize I am The Sliding Doors Inquistor. And we all know how I feel about fucking Gwyneth.

So if one day I name my child Pear or Cantaloupe, adopt a faux British accent and break up my shaggy husband's band?

BLAME LAW SCHOOL.

Posted by jen at 11:37 PM | Comments (9)

January 23, 2006

Sustained!

My brother Jeff's affianced*, Jen, an XXX-treme Law & Order fan (she has a dance, oh yes, she has a dance to the theme) has been telling me for quite a while now that I need to start using legal parlance in daily conversation.

In fact, she tried to tell me I should be using, "sustained" and "denied" regularly, and the only remotely acceptable use I could come up with is:

Currently My Friend, No Longer To Be My Friend Once I Start Introduing Legal Parlance Into Everyday Conversation: "What do you think, Mexican?"

Me: "Motion denied!"

CMFNLTBMYOISILGIEC: "Italian?"

Me: "Denied -- you're on a short leash, counsel."

CMFNLTBMYOISILGIEC: "Sushi?"

Me: "Sustained!"

I usually brush off Jen's comments, like, DUDE, I am so NOT an arbiter of justice. But this weekend I helped write a brief to the 9th Circuit (appellate court, baby! One away from getting in Ruth Bader Ginsburg's pants! How you like them apples?).

And I am so high on appellate life that all of a sudden I am picturing myself in robes, and not just the kind I like to slip out of before a bath.

Nope, I am talking REAL JUSTICE here.

*I keep using affianced instead of fiancé because I am too damn lazy to look up the HTML for small e, accent ague, or accent acute en anglais.

Posted by jen at 11:20 PM | Comments (7)

January 11, 2006

3L Powers Should Be Used for GOOD, Not EVIL, Young Master

The Scene: A overly-warm, over-filled law school classroom, five minutes before class starts. Neeta and I are in the second-to-last row, where we've been for the last 10 minutes, finishing up the remainder of our reading and basking in the glory of back-row seats on seating-chart day.

[Enter pale, puffy 3L, who sits down next to us in a huff and mutters something to the other 3Ls on the other side of him.]

PP3L: Can you guys move?

[Our heads slowly swivel toward him, wondering if he could possibly mean us.]

PP3L: There are more people coming. Could you move?

Neeta: Your friends didn't tell us these seats were taken.

[I start to see if we can slide over, but there is only one empty seat next to us.]

Me: We can move down one?

PP3L: There were TWO other people that were going to sit here. I mean, it's not like they haven't been SITTING HERE for the past two days.

[We want to say, Oh! you're right! And we know this because we've been keeping track of where YOU and your UGLY friends sit.]

Me: Well, there is nowhere for us to go. The room is full. [Gesture to rows in front of us, where, indeed, any IDIOT can see there are no seats available.]

PP3L: I mean, they've sat here every day.

Neeta (under breath): Can you believe this asshole?

Me: Well, there is nowhere for us to move.

[Enter the last two people (3L girls) to come into class, THE ONLY PEOPLE HE COULD BE WAITING FOR, who give him the drive-by wave and sit down IN THE SEATS THEIR OTHER FRIENDS HAVE BEEN SAVING FOR THEM.]

Uh-huh.

I think we all know exactly what went on there. PP3L has some hard-on for one of the late-arriving girls, and this is his LAST SEMESTER to impress her with his well-organized classnotes and JPMorgan Chase-Avon Run/Walk t-shirts and cargo shorts.

Desperation sets in and who bears the brunt of his sexual frustration? Neeta and me!

So not fair. And so not genteel. Which is why it's his last semester and his only hope for action is that this girl will want to use his masterful outline and fall in love over the way he crystallized the indigents' right to counsel into a few pithy lines.

Good luck, buddy. May the force be with you.

Posted by jen at 11:00 PM | Comments (8)

December 09, 2005

More Christmas Presents

Yay! Finally I feel reconnected with the world again. I have:

1. Read all the blogs I love. Made sure no one got married, came out, got knocked up and such.
2. Caught up on my celebrity news.

a. CAN YOU BELIEVE Matt Damon is married? To a hott, big-boobed bartender-cum-interior designer? What is wrong with a not-so-hot, not-so-(ok who are we kidding not AT ALL)-big-boobed, really grumpy and kind of smelly law student, I ask you? There is no accounting for taste.

b. I normally love Scarlett Johansson. Thought she rocked in Manny & Lo and Lost in Translation. But, um, yikes! Read her NY Times piece on gifts. Very "let them eat cake."

3. Received some mail, including the above tin of COOKIES! I don't take the elevator in my building because 1) caught elevator distrust from Laurie whispering, "I didn't think these people look like survivors. Do you?" every time we waited one out, and 2) stairs are faster. So I didn't get the news that we had new mailboxes, which required new keys, my manager hasn't been in, etc. etc. So I have been bereft of mail for two weeks!

   But now, I have COOKIES! Care of my future summer employer. And they are much welcome, but I do (of course) have complaints. Did they really NEED to include the calorie count? Where is the Christmas joy in 170 calrories per "Frosted Holiday Cut-out?" Also, they didn't just include the nutrional info for the cookies I got, but for ALL their products. So instead of enjoying my cookies, I spent a lot of time wondering what "Enrobed Chocolate Mint Shortbread" might be, and what life would be like had I received "Mini Buttercream Chocolate Chocolate Chip."

4. Left my apartment for the first time in TWO WEEKS to do something other than go to class or to a final. It was just to the store to get BEER, which is also something I haven't had in TWO WEEKS, but that's something!
5. I am finally finishing up the Indie Christmas Mixes I promised. I won't be able to send them out until Wednesday, after my last final, but at least there's progress!

And what is all this Christmas cheer the result of? Oh, the fact that in the MIDDLE of my Real Estate Finance FINAL, my computer decided to shut off. Just cuz. And continued to shut off every two minutes. So, I probably failed. And that? That calls for some beer and some bloggin'. Happy f'ing holidays to me.

And to you (minus the f'ing part)!

Posted by jen at 07:19 PM | Comments (22)

December 05, 2005

My First Christmas Present

Gosh I love finals.

DO YOU KNOW what I accidentally dreamt about this morning?

(1) Having really gross sex (that's right! not even good sex!) with a Con Law classmate who totally skeeves me out and whom I would much rather bop over the head a la Little Bunny Foo Foo, NOT have sex with...

(2) Because North Korea, in violation of both convention-based and customary international law, was threatening NUCLEAR WAR.

Thanks for that little gift, finals! Kisses! Happy holidays!

Posted by jen at 08:05 AM | Comments (10)

November 29, 2005

Gross Anatomy

WARNING: If you are someone I once dated, OR whom I might want to date later, OR whom I might just think is cute if we met, OR if you are a judger, OR if you just aren't up to reading about someone's personal kind-of-gross body issue right now, please do not read the following.

So I am in finals misery, drudgery, curmudgeonry. Which involves a lot of sitting. On my ass. For HOURS and HOURS at a time.

Which produces:

A butt zit.

Oh yes.

I said "butt zit." On the internets! For people to read! And snicker. Or frown disgustedly.

And I can only really write the words now because it is gone already. Really, it's like it never even happened. Really! I didn't spend all weekend checking 12 times a day to see if it was gone yet. No siree! Which you know, if I had done, which I didn't, would not have been good for my self-esteem because, hello?! sitting on my ass for five days? Not good for the shape of said sat-upon ass.

In any case, hypothetically, if I had spent that much time in front/back of the mirror, it would have been one of the more exciting things that had occurred in my life in the last five days. Which would be why I'm writing about it. Even though it's gross.

But now it's back to Con Law because I have confused myself with all the tenses used in this entry.

And to everyone I have not e-mailed, commented on, called back or otherwise reached out to you, I'm sorry! December 14 I will be free and clear. And so will my ass be, G-d willing.

p.s. Speaking of (Grey's) Anatomy, CAN YOU BELIEVE Alex screwed that nurse? So wrong! Boys are stupid.

Posted by jen at 08:16 PM | Comments (11)

November 22, 2005

My Only Salvation Is a Deathtrap, OR Signs that Final Season Draws Nigh

Hm, second blog post with "death" in the title. Excellent.

So anyhoo, the Top 5 signs:

1. You, Laurie, and Roy the Cat nearly head onto the 405 with your First Amendment Law book on top of your car. Luckily, at the metered on-ramp, the local Roto-Rooter van man informs you that $80 and four lbs of LAW are about to go flying into the SUV behind you, and you intervene. But really, didn't the SPEECH in that book just want to be FREE?

   Hahaha.

   Ha.

   Please, what is happening to me?

2. In the vet waiting room, you just HAVE to tell Laurie something hilarious Scalia just said.
3. You kind of think Scalia is cute.*
4. The thing you most look forward to every night is EXERCISE. On that infernal deathtrap you see above. Just because it is an escape from when bankruptcy trustees can set aside a foreclosure sale.
5. You start to think about corn rows as a time-saving measure.

*p.s. You HAVE to check out this site, only for the lovely ripple effect. Also, p.s. I generally disagree with everything out of Scalia's pen and think he should have recused himself from the Cheney case.

Posted by jen at 10:38 PM | Comments (10)

November 20, 2005

Calendar of Death

Apparently this is the point in the semester where a giant bowling ball of panic takes up permanent residence on your chest.

And where you realize that aside from class you will not be leaving your apartment for the next three weeks.

And where you start to remember how shitty this was last semester, and then you at least had a boy to make you feel human once a week, and now your only boyfriend is mortgage substitutes, and all you want to do is take a nap, or paint your nails, or write a really whiny blog entry complaining about your upcoming hell.

So that's what I'm doing. Whine.

Whine.

Whine.

And now I feel kind of better.

Better enough to get back to reading (whine).

Posted by jen at 05:49 PM | Comments (11)

October 31, 2005

Forgive the Law-Related Post, But...

But Anne is so right! The correct spelling of "ho" was decided definitively (I know, it's dicta, but close enough) in United States v. Murphy, 406 F.3d 857 at 859 n.1. To wit:

The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."

In other law-related news, the woman whose case I was working on for my asylum clinic was granted asylum! How rockin' is that?!

And also, can I tell you how much I love my Law of Art class? I get to read about the art of the heist, Nazi looting, and last Friday I got to see one of the largest lending collections of modern art in the world. TWELVE Basquiats! And p.s. Gregory Crewdson? Some of the freakiest stuff I have ever seen.

Posted by jen at 09:12 PM | Comments (7)

October 04, 2005

Technology, You Are Not My Friendster

I don't know if you have heard, but Friendster has sold us stalkers out.

Yep. Friendster has this cute, convenient new feature where you can see who has viewed your profile! Fun!

Um, p.s. THAT MEANS PEOPLE KNOW WHEN YOU VIEW THEIR PROFILES.

Yeah.

So needless to say I got this news a little late.

Last week, Neeta was telling me I had to check out the Friendster pics of one of the boys in our class, her Friendster friend, because he looks really cute with short hair. And sure, you know, I am on the man hiatus but this does not mean my curiosity has also taken a vacation.

So anyway, I checked out his profile. Thoroughly. I read about his interests, perused the pics. All the while, secure in the knowledge that HE WOULD NEVER KNOW I was ogling the cute pictures of him with his niece.

But then I read that FRIENDSTER HAD DECLARED WAR ON STALKERS. And I knew. Sure as I know my own name. That Tuesday, when we had class together, he'd start looking at me in a completely different way.

And lo and behold, not only has he started SMIRKING at me when he has never smirked at me before, but as luck would have it, I HAVE SEEN HIM EVERYWHERE over the last two days.

Maybe I am just paranoid. Maybe he has always smirked at me and I never noticed. Maybe he is just kind, smiling nicely, oblivious to my stalkerdom. He did try to rescue me one time when the professor didn't understand my question.

But deep in my heart, I know the truth. Friendster has betrayed me.

Thank goodness I viewed all the profiles of my exes, and their exes, like, months and months ago! At least I am safe from that humiliation.

Still, I hate you Friendster. For killing the stalker in all of us.

Posted by jen at 09:26 PM | Comments (19)

September 13, 2005

Is It Legal To Discriminate against Dumbasses?

The dreaded goose egg did not materialize, thank goodness. So while I still showed up for my interviews with my normal fivehead, I did not look (too) deformed. So much for Laurie's plan to pull the fear-of-seeming-discriminating card.

No, in my case, the only discriminating the firms will be doing is against dumbasses. Oh yes. Over my last eight interviews, I have managed to:

• Fall into two subtle traps laid for me (this I am not so worried about because who wants to work with people who are constantly trying to trick you?!)
• ALMOST fall over, AND only avoid falling over (slippery floors + no-traction heels + arms full of firm chotchkes + heavy conference door = DISASTER) by using the interviewer's outstretched hand for balance, meaning that I held it WAY TOO LONG and he withdrew it so forcefully I know he thinks I WANT HIS BODY or better yet, I AM CRAZY.
• Sound arrogant
• Contract a bad case of verbal diarrhea (twice)
• Um, kind of forget the name of the firm I was talking to and have to check my handy-dandy website printout

But, lucky me, only FIVE MORE TO GO! Ugh. If I can just make it through without dying of shame I will be happy.

In other news, I have totally given up running. But I have come to terms with my destiny as a lazy bum and am OK with it.

Really, it's who I am. Last May, my high school girlfriends and I went to Vegas.

And we're all sitting around in the hotel room, getting ready to go out for the evening, and this love-fest of body talk ensues in which each girl's body is matched to a type of athlete -- one girl has a runner's body, another a softball player, a dancer, a volleyball player. "What about me?" I ask, indignant.

Silence.

Sigh. So you see I was meant to be a sloth.

And, apparently, a dumbass.

Posted by jen at 10:36 PM | Comments (7)

September 07, 2005

The Big Goose Egg

It's 10:15 on Wednesday night. Tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. I have my interview with one of the only big, sweatshop firms I have a chance with.

Five minutes ago I went to go empty the litter box and, because I am exhausted, totally banged my head on a shelf giving myself a nice big bump on one of my already prominent frontal protuberances.

My question.

Do I:

a) Stay up a couple extra hours icing my forehead in the hopes that the consequences of neither of the following two occasions reoccur:

• That time in third grade when I played center field (before I moved up to third base) on my softball team and I took one between the eyes that quickly drained to my face until I had two black eyes for weeks.
• That time in ninth grade when my normally gentle brother Jeff whacked me so hard I had a goose egg in the middle of my forehead so big it parted the waters of my hair-sprayed bangs.

b) Go to bed and hope for the best.

What makes this even THAT MUCH BETTER is Ethel. Ethel, who loves to bat things off their perches -- earrings, water glasses, wine glasses FULL OF RED wine, my reading assignments. Bat them off and then either sleep on them or steal them away somewhere. Because Ethel has batted my concealer off into the dark underbelly of my apartment, never to be seen again.

I foresee an angry, black-eyed trip to Rite-Aid in the morning.

Kisses, Fred & Ethel!

Posted by jen at 10:18 PM | Comments (10)

August 26, 2005

Reunited

And it feels so...

Vaguely uncomfortable and exhausting, really. But in a good way?

The casualties of the first week:

1. My Forearms and biceps. And back. And shoulders.

I forgot that you really need a personal trainer or Popeye arms to survive the first week of school. While my stack of books is not as bad as last year's, my forearms and biceps feel like they did the last time I constructed something from Ikea without an automatic screwdriver.

2. Blogging. You know it is bad when not only can I not write an entry on my own blog, but I don't even have time to read anyone else's.

3. My stomach lining. Ah, Rolaids. I forgot how delicious and absolutely NOTHING like aspartame-flavored chalk you are before and after every meal.

The spoils of the first week:

1. Choosing my own classes!
Hello, Real Estate Finance, Law of Art, Public International Law and First Amendment.

2. New faces
Best part about not having all your classes with the same exact 80 people? You get to interact with cool new folks, and learn to loathe and mock an entirely new set of overtalkers, brown-nosers, show-offs, etc.

3. Real spoils!
Neeta got back from India the night before school started, and she brought me a PRESENT! PresentS even!

The box is pietra dura, the same stone / technique used in the Taj Majal, and made from the descendants of the same artisans who created the Taj.

How cool is that?

4. I AM NOT A 1L.
I may be stressed and anxious and popping Rolaids like Rush Limbaugh popped OxyContin, BUT I AM NOT A 1L.

My first year I was anxious to the point of social paralysis, and if I hadn't found Neeta and Maggie, I would have been like this sad little 1L that I saw hanging out by herself, far away from the law school campus, reading her Civ Pro book and eating her PBJ. Really, it broke my heart.

Also, things first year may not have gone exactly like I planned, but they went. Quickly. So my second year doesn't stretch interminably before me like my first year did.

So, law school, nice to see you again. Can't say I missed you but I don't mind being back.

Posted by jen at 11:40 AM | Comments (11)

August 22, 2005

As Ready As I'll Ever Be

My 2L year starts tomorrow, and I'm as prepared as I reasonably (ha! reasonably! ha! stoooopid lawyer joke. ack.) can be.

For one thing, I've got some kick-ass school supplies.

And of course, what would any Sunday Undies girl be without a brand new supply of days-of-the-week underpants? Awww, yeah.

Also, new frames.

p.s. Why do I look so scary? And freckly? When did this happen? AND, most importantly, qu'est ce que vous pensez? Too librarian? Saturday night at Beechwood, these crazy men told my friend Amber and I that we were working the school teacher/librarian look. And I wasn't even wearing glasses! For the rest of the night I (a) wondered what the hell that meant, and (b) had Marian the Librarian stuck in my head. Oh well, better (?) than Hot for Teacher.

And don't worry -- I also did my reading. And am even a bit ahead. This will be the only time this semester I am, of course, but yay!

Posted by jen at 12:25 AM | Comments (19)