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May 25, 2007
Brand. Ed a Madwoman.
Recently Laurie posted various product recommendations. She followed up with a disclaimer that beauty product recommendations best be tried at places with no-questions-asked return policies. My immediate reaction? HAHAHA. I have totally made her A LAWYER, adding disclaimers to crap, avoiding liability! HAHAHA. I'm sure she will hate that, as she has no love for lawyers, save me.
p.s. When I tried to paste in the link to Laurie just now, I pasted in "Prior restraints on the freedom of speech require a showing of special societal harm." Leftover CTRL+X from a practice test. That I failed. F--king bar prep. I CANNOT ESCAPE YOU.
Anyway, the first week of studying for the bar has not been fun. I called my doctor dad yesterday to ask if I was dying because my legs were so swollen. He told me no, it was just because I was sitting down for 10 hours a day. I'm sure this will do nothing but enhance my reputation as the family hypochondriac, but whatever. At least I wasn't calling him to tell him that a 2-inch quadrangle on my lower left shin seemed numb. Like last month. Jeebus. I swear, I am a GROWN WOMAN (not too grown, 5'2", but the SundayUndies family bones fuse early), but you wouldn't know it.
Also, quick aside, related to bones, as part of my undergrad anthro major I took Osteology, which required that I be able to side bones. I got the only B of my college career because my severe challenges in spacial relations prevented me from ascertaining WHICH DAMN SIDE, left or right, a bone fragment belonged to. No degree of squinting and/or contortionism to position fragments along my own body -- despite my classmates' extreme amusement -- helped. Nonetheless, to this day, I LOVE to point out your occipital, frontal and parietal protuberances. It brings me no small amount of joy.
Your zygomatic arch is not the point of this story, however. I was going to talk about Brand. Brand loyalty.
I am a sucker for brands, once they work for me. It's shaming, this lemming loyalty, but Martha Stewart, whatever you will say about her, has never once failed me. My new paint job? Martha at Lowe's. My favorite magazines? Martha and mini-me Martha, Blueprint. My Mac 'n Cheese will always be Martha's, especially after it staved off my sister from suicide after the 2004 elections. And I can't tell you how many products I have purchased after seeing them in her magazines or shows -- she rarely attaches her name to anything not of quality.
There are a few other brands that I hold dear.
Anything by method. Not petroleum-based, unobtrusive packaging, available at Target. The Trifecta of Awesome.
Chronicle Books. Has never done me wrong, bringing me the Bad Girl's guides, Stuff on My Cat, and the Stich-It Kit, which I will, after the bar is over, complete.
Any alcoholic beverage produced by Francis Ford Coppola. Just last entry, I professed my love for his line. His wines are not always amazing but often are, and are ALWAYS reliable to bring to parties. Not to mention, HELLO!, champagne in cans, the perfect accompaniment to a picnic.
BarKeeper's Friend. Dude, it cleans my bathtub, my silver (two candlesticks from my mother + one pair earrings = total acquisition of silver to date, I AM SO POSH), my stainless steel sink and pans, my stovetop, EVERYTHING! Delicate yet firm, much like tuna.
Anything from the Alterna Hemp line -- for you wavy/curly-haired maidens like me: the texturizing glaze, volumizing spray-in conditioner, and spray shine.
Also, OK this next one is not a brand per se. Much like there are only certain types of slander per se. Did you know that? No? Me neither! This is why I created my own mnemonic device to remember slander per se's varietals:
Business or professional experience
STDs and leprosy
Moral turpitude crimes, AND
Fornication by a lady)!
Suck it!
What do you think? No one can fail the bar with a mnemonic device like that, right? The "suck it" is not exactly part of the device, I just add it for emphasis. BS, MoFo, suck it!! Can you tell I hate studying for the bar?
Anyway, I'm not familiar enough to love Orly as a per se rule, but have NEVER EVER EVER received more compliments on my toe color than I have with my current shade -- Passion Fruit, part of Orly's Hot Neons collection.
Men, women, children, my cats (I can tell, really!), they love it. I would include a pic of what it looks like on my toes, but as I mentioned above, all this sitting has my legs looking like I'm suffering from a mild case of elephantitis, so I'd rather not share a pic of the sausage casings that pass for my toes nowadays.
And oh, what the hell, a couple more:
- Rough Guides
- Touchstone Pictures, 1986-1991
So that's it! My brands, my loyalty to them, my descent into madness. Courtesy of the California bar. BS, Mofo! Suck it!
p.s. I continue to accidentally delete comments in trying to delete comment spam, I'm sorry. After the bar (my mantram now, apparently), I am going to upgrade and eliminate this problem. I am also going to drink a lot. And go to South America for a month. But that is neither here nor there.
Posted by jen at May 25, 2007 10:47 PM
Comments
Method totally rocks.
And so do you. So I'm tagging you for a "Thinking Blogger" award. What does this mean? I don't know. I only know that I was nominated and now I am supposed to nominate someone else whose blog I like. So there! It's you!
Posted by: Librarian Girl at May 26, 2007 04:20 PM
P.S. Suck it!
Posted by: Librarian Girl at May 26, 2007 04:21 PM
I have to issue a warning against one particular Rough Guide! I usually love them as well, but their travel guides to Amsterdam and the Netherlands are totally written for British stoners. And hey, if that's your thing, they're great. But I ended up trekking all the way back to the train station and snatching up their last DK guide just so we could have a decent map and food recommendations that weren't targeted towards those looking for the cheapest late-night munchie fixes available.
Also, I second you on the Sofia in cans, and the Method products (they have very fancy new soaps and body stuff now!), and your toes really are fantastic.
Posted by: Gwen at May 26, 2007 06:07 PM
that was same damn good mac n cheese.
Posted by: Penny at May 28, 2007 12:29 AM
dude, that is totally MY KIND of mnemonic device! i am so totally ripping that off and writing it into my torts outline.
i KNEW the color on your toes looked familiar... it is also the color on MY toes! i bought it sometime before our evidence final, on the off chance that incredibly bright nail polish is an antidote to the draining of lifeblood.
Posted by: neeta at May 28, 2007 08:29 PM
Ah, I remember the days, actually it was a very long month of 31 days, of studying for my physical therapy boards. Gawd, I hated it. Was so nervous when I got to the place to take them, my hand were shaking so hard you couldn't read my signature. Course that was back when one could read my signature.
After my boards were taken, I had absolutely no clue if I'd passed or failed. Went home and fell into bed for a extremely long nap to be followed by a large Margarita outing with former classmates and my babysitter. I drank an entire large pitcher of Margaritas by myself and was carried home by said babysitter.
Fast forward 4 weeks to me going out to get the mail. My poor mail person, I'm sure thought I was stalking him. I'm on the phone with a friend giving her my black bean soup recipe and I'm innocently opening a letter at my mailbox and start screaming at the top of my lungs. I'D PASSED which I got to share with several of my neighbors who had run outside sure someone was being murdered.
Oh, my friend eventually got her hearing back too.
Good luck!
Posted by: Debbie at May 29, 2007 04:24 AM
You really have influenced me -- I might even throw in some lingo in my next disclaimer!!!
And you do make the best mac 'n cheese ON THE PLANET.
Posted by: laurie at May 29, 2007 08:59 AM
I am totally tempted to buy that Stitch It Kit. Except I still have about a year's worth (at this rate) of knitting to do on the baby blanket for my friend's son who is several months old now. Oops.
Posted by: -R- at May 29, 2007 12:35 PM
Did you know that the wrinkles in the white undies at the top of your page look like old women's faces? Are they supposed to?
Posted by: Delta at May 30, 2007 04:34 PM
Studying for the bar was one of the most emotionally traumatic things I ever went through. Thank god I passed, because I honestly don't think I would have had the strength to study for it again.
One tip: Once I had my flash cards done I walked around the neighborhood for hours and hours everyday memorizing. Makes for good legs and I swear I could memorize faster. The neighbors eventually got used to it.
Ohh and I knew all the neighborhood dirt since I memorized and snooped at the same time.
Posted by: Aimee the sis at June 1, 2007 02:25 PM
I made your (Martha Stewart) mac n cheese last night. Mike was a huge fan. He almost forgave me for talking about my ex-boyfriend all night. thanks for the tip!
Where's my Paris list? (Because I know you have nothing more important to do.)
Posted by: Ursula at June 1, 2007 03:51 PM
LG -- what is this thinking blogger thing? I will have to check it out. Also, suck it! ;-)
Gwen-- YOU looked fantastic at your wedding celebration! So glowing! It was great to see you so happy!
Neeta-- I hope in the coming weeks we discover that indeed, bright nailpolish is an antidote to the draining of lifeblood!
Penny -- you know it, girl!
Debbie -- haha, I'm glad you passed. And we get our results via internet, I think, but I am sure I will be refreshing so often that they think I am some kind of hacker attack.
Laurie -- it is all Martha, I disclaim.
-R- -- I haven't knitted a thing since the start of third year. I doubt I will until I retire.
Delta -- No, but now I am kind of grossed out by my own banner, which is AWESOME. I mean this in all seriousness, am not being sarcastic.
Aimee -- that is the best idea ever! It will solve my swollen leg problems!
Ursual -- yay for the success of the Mac n Cheese, I am curious which ex and why it came up, fascinating, and I will send you your Paris stuff this weekend!
Posted by: jen at June 2, 2007 01:02 AM