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April 25, 2007
Expiry Dates
Why do Americans call it an expiration date, while the Brits call it an expiry date? I like expiry much better -- there are entirely too many ation endings on words, in my opinion.
Perhaps I believe this because I have spent the last few weeks writing 50 pages of poorly-constructed legal analysis chock-full of ation words: representation, discrimination, condemnation, investigation, relation. Wouldn't they all look better ending in a y? Investigy, condemny. Why yes, they would, Jen, I'm so glad you asked! Of course, my papers would be shorter then, every character counts, so perhaps I should be happy we are a nation of ation-ers. Nation! Ation! Ha. Eek.
In any case, paper-writing begets rotting celery and asparagus in my refrigerator and shopping limited to quick runs for Lean Cuisine pizzas and Cokes. I haven't had time to even do that lately, so today I confronted a bevy of past-their-prime foods. Which I ate. Defiantly.
You see, most of me believes that expiration dates are a conspiracy by the FDA and corporate fat cats to make us buy more. Apparently some guy and his mother (she posts a comment, too cute) agree with me -- although they limit their theory to condiments. Wusses.
My conspiracy theory for a long time extended to vacuum bags. I really believed that at any moment, Eureka would discontinue MMs just so I would have to buy a new vacuum. So I'd just empty out the bags and reinsert them. It took some serious ribbing/use of logic from Laurie -- "Jen, they have been making MMs since like 1912. Vacuums are supposed to last forever. There is no corporate plot here." -- to get me to break down and buy some new bags. Of course, now I have my Dyson, which doesn't need no stinkin' bags.
Also, I think this is the first time I have typed the phrase, "corporate fat cats," and now all I can picture is Fred & Ethel in suits. In suits without pants. Cats don't need no stinkin' pants to look dapper, man.
The point of these incoherent ramblings is that my expiry date as a law student is scarily close. Yesterday was my last day of classes. EVER. In 16 days I will be donning a cap and gown and sweating profusely in an uncomfortable chair for several hours, waiting to hear my name called so that I know it's officially over. And I can't wait! For graduy.
Posted by jen at April 25, 2007 02:41 AM
Comments
i seriously laughed at that picture of fred for 5 minutes. maybe because i have been writing a paper all night, but still, i love it. i am SO jealous you're done with school. you're going to be the first person i call when i walk out of my last final!
Posted by: Penny at April 26, 2007 12:11 AM
I just ate Rice Krispies that expired on March 1 and I have lived to tell the tale! (At least so far.)
Also, I heart that picture so much.
Posted by: Gwen at April 26, 2007 12:21 AM
My mother never believes me when I try to tell her that eggs are safe past the date. And lowfat milk? Usually good for at least a couple of days past the date.
The fat cat? Not looking too happy in that jacket. lol
Posted by: Dagny at April 26, 2007 12:26 AM
dont know why, but this blog entry made my day. so funny.
in any case, the sugar conspiracy (or is it conspiration in american english?) is even more subtle and dangerous.
Posted by: The Austrian at April 26, 2007 04:33 AM
My SO thinks milk expires on the EXACT date that's on the carton.
This is why I never have milk for my cereal.
Congrats on your graduy. You're awesome!
Posted by: The Other Ruth at April 26, 2007 04:36 AM
Yea for the the last day of law school!!
The fat cat is too much - I'll think of him every time I hear that phrase.
Posted by: Kaitie Tee at April 26, 2007 05:36 AM
Hee! Fred, indeed, looks dapper.
Congrats on the last class!
Posted by: SpaceCase at April 26, 2007 07:45 AM
Fred (?) looks pretty spiffy in a suit.
Also: congratuly on your graduy!
Posted by: Dawn at April 26, 2007 08:18 AM
Congratuly on graduy!
Posted by: Laura at April 26, 2007 10:14 AM
Fred is so damn handsome, he could do my taxes.
Posted by: laurie at April 26, 2007 11:13 AM
This is a primo post. Cats in clothing make for top-notch photos.
I wish that I could report a similar vacuum experience but no, every vacuum I've ever had has died unceremoniously, pissing me off and making me never want to buy a vacuum ever again.
Congratulys on your graduy!
Posted by: Daphne at April 26, 2007 11:27 AM
Priceless photo. LMAO. Corporate Fat Cats indeed.
Agreed concerning expiry dates. Yes, expiry all the way... seconded by "best before", for all those aussies that just don't quite have their head around the definition of expire.
Posted by: daniel at April 26, 2007 11:08 PM
Thanks so much, everyone! And I am so glad I am not the only one who doesn't believe in the iron-clad rules of expiry dates.
Although, The Austrian, what is this sugar conspiracy of which you speak? I am totally in the dark!
Posted by: jen at April 27, 2007 01:51 AM
Congratulies on your graduy. My SO just finished her "long paper" for law school and is also about to graduy. So I get to sweat profusely next to my MIL for hours and hours. I wonder if she'll stop talking during the ceremony, that would be an upside.
Where did you get Fred's adorable jacket? That's a face that says "You're Fired!" in a totally executive way.
Posted by: Jill of the 7 cats at May 3, 2007 03:10 PM