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November 10, 2006

Comfort Levels

My family is coming to LA for Thanksgiving this year, and the issue of where they're going to stay has caused some hurt feelings. Mine, specifically.

I guess hurt feelings might be too strong a phrase. Slight indignation morphing into resignation might be more apt.

Because, well, it appears that my neighboorhood is just a little too ghetto for my family.

My mother didn't mince any words in refusing my recommendation of the hotel right down the street from me. "I don't think we want to stay in your neighborhood, Jen. It's just not safe."

I didn't say anything, but I did harumph later to my brother about it.

Me: "Can you believe that?"

Jeff:

Me: "I guess I should lay off on those stories about the homeless sleeping in my stairwell, yeah?"

Jeff:

Laurie tried to be more diplomatic. "Well, Jen, you have to understand, I mean... well, remember after your birthday when I went outside to find someone trying to break into my Jeep?"

Hm.

I tried to elicit support from Gloria, but she laughed and reminded me about the homeless people having sex in the parking lot across the street.

It's funny. I like living in Hollywood most of the time -- I've lived here so long that I don't even really notice the filth and vague danger any more. Occasionally I fantasize about a SARS outbreak in LA so that the tourists won't clog my streets with their Chrysler Sebrings and their total inability to make a left turn across traffic, but most of the time I'm OK with where I live.

In any case, the wide gulf between my experience of my neighborhood and my friends and family's experiences surprised me. At first, out of defensiveness, I decided everyone I knew was either an old fogie or a snob, but then I realized that I am often a big ole crotchety snoot so that couldn't be it. I mean, I relish my creature comforts. I find anything less than Quilted Northern unacceptable. Yet I don't really mind seeing the occasional vagrant taking an early morning piss in the alley next door.

So I decided, as I often do, that people are weird. We make odd choices about what we let bother us and what we ignore. For instance:

I don't mind:
- A TV so covered in dust you can barely see the screen
- People with social disorders, unless they're mean
- Giving people rides
- Kids on planes who kick my seat
- Generic paper towels

I can't stand:
- Dirty dishes
- People who stand too close to me in line
- Sharing my Coke
- People on planes who talk to me
- Generic Rice Krispies

Is there really any sense to that, I ask you? No. But I'm sure you're the same way, right? Can't stand two-buck Chuck but love you some PBR? C'mon, I know you're a weirdo, too.

Posted by jen at November 10, 2006 02:11 PM

Comments

Absolutely! My family has the same attitude about San Francisco when they visit--and my mom asks me if I feel safe taking the bus all the time and walking home at night (not always, but it won't stop me) I totally agree with your lists by the way!

Posted by: Vickery at November 10, 2006 06:15 PM

been there, done that.

and i have a tendency to exaggerate a little about the things that i don't mind that i know other people mind, and when these nice people come up with solutions for me, i get all mad and tell them not to be all picky and snobbish and all that.

Posted by: rachel at November 10, 2006 08:30 PM

I completely agree.
i dont mind letting the dirty laundry piling up until faced with the decision of actually washing something or going to target for new socks & panties (the trip to target wins).
However, I do mind when the books on the bookshelves don't all face the same way.

Posted by: nessacery at November 11, 2006 12:39 PM

Hi.. I found your blog through Lauries.. and well its an instant fav.. You both write so well and are so funny.. I look forward to reading more, as a side note.. I went to LA/Hollywood once when I was about 18 and well I wouldnt stay in your Neighborhood either.. hahah.. (I dont know where you live.. ) I would force your family to stay with you.. as payback for all the chores you had to do as a kid. :) or wait maybe thats my life.. nevermind

Posted by: eLiZaBeTh at November 11, 2006 02:14 PM

remember when jen and jeff came to visit and we saw the homeless person sitting on the street and his/her(?) ass was hanging out of his/her pants? that may have had some influence on their thinking your neighborhood isn't all that safe. your apartment is nice which is a plus. it isn't your new york apartment which is a very good thing. just keep in mind that me having you come pick my ass up a block away has absolutely nothing to do w/ my laziness:)

Posted by: Penny at November 12, 2006 01:11 PM

Aw, I didn't mean to make fun of your predicament. If I were coming from out of town to visit, I'd definitely stay with you. Do I still get to come over for Thanksgiving?

Posted by: Gloria at November 12, 2006 05:10 PM

PS. And it wasn't homeless people having sex across the street - it was DEFINITELY guys in a hummer limo and some hookers they had picked up.

Posted by: Gloria at November 12, 2006 05:10 PM

When I lived in SF, my parents often worried about my safety. It didn't help matters that the first time my mom came to visit, someone broke into her car. Luckily all my wonderful neighbors came out and assured her that I was perfectly safe.

Now that I live in Berkeley, they'll come to visit but they still worry about my safety when walking at night.

Good luck with Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Dagny at November 13, 2006 06:53 AM

I feel sort of bad always being the friend who's brutally honest ... and obsessed with her Jeep...

But hey! You live in HOLLYWOOD. Where the MOVIE STARS live! :)

Posted by: laurie at November 14, 2006 09:25 AM