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February 20, 2006
Those in Glass Houses...
So tonight I was (what else? I am SICK) watching The Bachelor: The Women Tell All, and smugly thinking about how much better BEHAVED I would be if I were on national television. I mean, were these women all raised in a barn? And I realize that "were you raised in a barn?" is usually what (my) parents say when you leave the door open, but somehow to me the phrase has come to represent a reprimand for all the other things I was not supposed to do in life, like:
a) Leave the lights on when I'm not in the room.
b) Forget to thank someone for, oh, ANYTHING.
c) Be racist.
d) Be catty.
e) Talk with my mouth full.
So anyway, I was sitting there, smug as a bug in a rug, like, I would totally not talk smack about my housemates, or about my eggs rotting, or try to steal a man away from others.
And you know what? I would. Or rather, I have. I have talked smack about my housemates. I have freaked out about my reproductive health. I have (twice) kissed the boyfriend of another (to be fair, one of those times was only after she had slept with my boyfriend less than EIGHT HOURS after I had slept with him for the first time).
So I am not going to throw stones.
Instead, I am really going to try to remember the words of Sri Sarada Devi:
I tell you one thing – if you want peace of mind, do not find fault with others. Rather learn to see your own faults. Learn to make the whole world your own. No one is a stranger, my child; this whole world is your own.
Because what's cooler than that no one is a stranger? It certainly makes this odd innernets thing we do that much more warm. And also explains why every time I post something about myself I think is weird, or silly, or overkill (like my recent date preparation), someone else has done the same damn thing.
So we all live in glass houses? At least we don't live in barns!
Posted by jen at February 20, 2006 11:24 PM
Comments
If one decides to live in a barn, one must have many cats -- big cats. My grandfather's barn had rats as large as cats. Ewwww.
Posted by: Dagny at February 21, 2006 09:53 AM
Well said, Jen. Is it my imagination, or is this problem somewhat gender-specific? Seems like lots of men are born in barns while we women live in glass houses (but we don't all throw stones, do we?). Anyway, there's throwing stones, and lightly lobbing them. I'd like to think I'm more of a lobber. And I'd definitely like to think that no one's a stranger and they're all making the same mistakes I am making. Warm and fuzzy indeed.
Posted by: Urs at February 21, 2006 12:30 PM
Loved this entry, Jennifer.
I think about this a lot, about taking the inventory of other people... and how people take my inventory, too, tally up the pros and cons.
It's easy to read something someone has written and think you know them, can fix them, it's so easy to look at someone else and think, "She should do x, y and z..." but it's excruciating to look at ourselves and ask, "Why does [someone else's] behavior irritate me? Bother me? Hurt me? What is it about ME that I need to look into?"
(Oh, and I'm pretty sure I was born in an actual barn. heh.)
Posted by: laurie at February 21, 2006 04:01 PM
yeah my parents' version is 'were you BORN in a barn?' implying apparently that at BIRTH i would have learned all those things like shutting doors and turning off lights.
i wouldn't throw stones at say some random girl who has a catty meltdown in front of me. but some girl who chose to go on TV on a show like that and was a catty bitch on camera? yeah, i'm definitely throwing some stones in her direction.
i don't necessarily think celebrities "asked for" all the media crap they have to deal with. but someone on a reality show? they definitely did.
Posted by: carolyn at February 21, 2006 06:18 PM
Dagny-- I think Fred & Ethel are as big as barn cats. SCARY!
Jeff-- I accidentally deleted your comment when I deleted some spam. I'm glad you thought this was warm and fuzzy, my warm and fuzzy bro.
Urs, I do think the judging of our own sex is gender-specific, but I don't think judging generally is left to the ladies.
Carolyn-- Apparently at birth we are supposed to know a lot of things, we ladies. I am only slowly learning them now.
Laurie-- We KNOW about the inventory.
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